Well this is the Partial Scoop

Ok, not really, misleading title! Since we've never worked with this agency, and we dont even have a formal application in with them, asked folks who know them, what their policy is... AND was told basically what I thought.. That I need to keep things fairly 'hush-hush' - no pics/great details, etc. til our acceptance paperwork is in Korea.

I can share that I rec'd the forwarded email from the Korean agency today and it was sooo wonderful to see our names as the "adoptive parents" and to see that baby is "healthy and growing well".... given the preemie nature, that makes me very happy.

Soooo, what I can tell you is about the process, if I can get my butt in gear and get the app in today (it's like 20 pages), then hopefully we'll receive official acceptance papers in the next few days. However our HS agency will have to revise our HS one more time (there were two versions, one for Korea and one for Guatemala) but our Korean HS needs to have some minor adjustments indicating new agency, that baby is considered special needs, etc.

Soooo from there

* Once acceptance paperwork hits Korea - HOPEFULLY by March 9 or 12, 13 (somewhere around here, we're officially "waiting for the travel call"

* Eastern, the Korean agency will send us the baby's legals (whereby birthparents document relinquishment... very bittersweet) which will be attached to the I600 and filed with CIS

*Travel should come, barring complications with CIS, 14-16 weeks from formal acceptance. The 14-16 weeks is kind of "worst case "scenario and it's been running about 12 weeks ... sometimes even around 8 weeks.

*So my guess is late May to mid-June, when it's sweltering, humid hot in Seoul, one of us will be on our way to pick up our little sweetie!! YAY......The timing actually with the kids' schooling, etc.. is perfect... Everything about this thusfar has been.... Praying it all continues in that direction!

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.....Will update more as I can!

OK, OK... so sorry keep everyone in the dark.... Any computer geniuses out there? You can have first glimpse at baby!! I've been trying to do a little photo montage and the photos we rec'd awhile ago are in an adobe acrobat "pdf " format. Anyway, not sure if it's my reader/my photoshop (which I've attempted to use to convert to jpeg) BUT when I upload the photos to "one true media", they look like reverse photos/negatives .... eerie and weird! So as an experiment uploaded to blogger to see if I could and it worked -yay, BUT all the colors were WAY off.. I mean clothing colors were opposite of what they should be etc..

Sooooo for any takers out there... (wink, wink)...

Bottom line we're thrilled but by time we do get official paperwork and get "official" referral, it'll be several weeks. Hoping to post pics prior to that!! Thanks everyone!

THEY SAID "YES"
THEY SAID "YES"!!

SWEET BABY IS OURS!!

SOOOOO EXCITED
MORE DETAILS TO FOLLOW!
GOTTA GO DO THE AGENCY PAPERWORK!

Very Sweet Video on Life - if you're a Dog lover/animal lover, you have to watch!

http://doyourememberlove.com/narration.html

Check it out!!

Miscellaneous Thoughts/Happenings to End the Week:

1. First, I got into "blogging" as a result of reading the fabulous blogs of others as we thought about adopting from Guatemala. Blogs where folks laid it on the line - how things were good, bad and sometimes ugly - very ugly even. And one of the great blogs I first started reading was by a woman named Steph.... WELL today... A HUGE SHOUT of praise - BECAUSE baby Amelia is OUT Of PGN!!! Yeah!! This baby girl has needed to get home to her mama/family for quite some time and now it's reality. I'm sooo happy for you Steph and family! Yay!!

2. On our front, baby turned 3 months today!! Happy 3 month bday sweetie... Whether we get to bring you home or not - you'll always have this special place in our hearts! I'm trying oh so hard not to fall in love, and it may sound cold-hearted, but I think I'm doing ok (just watch out tho, the day we get the OK... cause I"m sure the emotions will come flooding on in)... But the reality is that we may not get the OK... that things have changed dramatically in Korea. Korea wants to halt adoptions and on 1/1/07 they instituted many changes. Now, babies must be available for domestic adoption for 5 months prior to being available for international adoption. It's not clear what "special needs" might bypass this rule. This little one was born before the New Year and therefore the new rules dont apply. HOWEVER, given the new rules.... most agencies (all but SWS) will pretty much halt referrals at this point for the next 5 months as they wait for the first batch of babies to reach their 5 month mark. In other words, some families who have already been waiting months and months, some over a year, will now have to wait another 5 months for their referral. Things seem to have come to a stand-still this week on the boards. We'll see... I hope and pray all works out, but bracing in case we dont get the waiver. Our agency did send everything last Friday, so Korea rec'd everything last Tues.. so today is Day 4 (whose counting ? :) of a probable at least 10 day (maybe more) wait to hear... and that's "business days".....

3. On House front (other folks' house), Hearing went ok... Ultimately the house blocks our neighbor a few doors down and the architect representing the family asked for the continuance (til mid April) so he could redesign the house so it doesnt block the neighbor. Owners of property did LOTS of glaring!! Such a warm/fuzzy way to start that neighborly relationship. I got the feeling however, that the overall size of the home wont be downscaled. Whatever... if that's what they want and it doesnt block us /others - fine.. I personally think they're morons (good thing my kids dont read this!). Get this.. we live just about over 2 Earthquake fault lines. Our land shifts frequently.... Yet on this near 20% downgrade lot, they want to poor enough concrete to have a pool in their basement... they've obviously got money to burn, and yet became "cheap" when it came to choosing their lot. I just dont get it. There are so many perfect flat lots for their project that may have been just 50-200 K more.... I mean for all they're gonna put into architect fees for redesign (this is the 3rd redesign going into 3 years) and concrete to accomodate the slope, they could have had a bitchin' lot... JUST dont get some people....Whatever... no emotional energy to deal with it... it needs to fly!


4. Baby James Update:

Baby James was set to go home today...The surgery was/wasnt a success.. here's mom's report:


They were able to remove two tumors, but unfortunately they were not able to get clean margins (meaning there are still cancer cells left behind) and the radiologist and surgeon both agree that there are more pockets of cancer cells left that simply can’t be surgically removed without taking the entire remaining kidney.


There is much uncertainty as to what lies ahead for Baby James. And understandably the family is very scared, concerned and more than anything I suspect, exhausted (wouldnt we all be?).....

Baby James and family have been thru so much and the future is still so uncertain. I think of the silly little diet restrictions my kids are on, and it's a walk in the park given his issues (they've got to watch protein, salt of course... all sorts of things and he's not even one year old yet :( PLEASE keep this family in your thoughts and prayers... They're wonderful. Or check out their blog and leave them some words of encouragement... just knowing so many are thinking about them helps... Here's blog again:
http://jrjschrandt.blogspot.com/

Have a great weekend everyone!

Aaaack!! Yep, I've got to go to that STUPID hearing tomorrow (can you hear my kids in the background saying "mom, we dont say STUPID!")

I'm sooo frustrated. This is so silly and such a waste of time. My wonderful babysitter is here a few days a week, Tues/Thurs afternoons so I can work on things like bills/paperwork, transitional IEPs, whatever and tomorrow I needed it all as I have to do our taxes. We need the refund. BUT now it seems I've got to be downtown at this flippin' hearing. AAAAhhhhhh!!! Of course dh is out of town. He always misses these fun highlights in our life. I have NO prob speaking at the hearing.. BTDT.. BUT I do like to be prepared and we just ascertained where the, yes, STUPID property was on Saturday with the help of a realtor friend. The "notice of Public hearing " had the incorrect address. I'll go.. dont want to take any chances.. but ya know it just brings home ..... how some people are soooo out in left field...

The original application for this home was an over 6K residence on a less than 1/2 acre downslope lot with restrictions due to creeks, etc. Essentially the entire lot was going to be house. We're a tiny, sleepy fishing village.. Yeah.. there are a few flashy places but they're on large lots - like 2 acres and have lots of landscaping/dont block anyone's view, etc. In other words, they're not eye-sores (like oops, who as asleep at the wheel when they approved that?) I love the original application for this property - they wanted to build this over 6K residence in a salmon pink mediterranean style.. NOT a style I even mind, BUT not a style that's appropriate here. AND sooo get this.. the home site above which I think is about a 1/4 acre, has approved plans to drop an 1100 sq foot pre-fab home on it. Either the folks in question REALLY love our community or are completely clueless. Tomorrow should be interesting. Just wishing it werent tomorrow... Please send pos vibes as I'll just die if for some reason they approve this god-awful thing (I'm hearing it's already been denied on all fronts, but you never know).

Highlight for the Day:

The Tour de California... ok it's the Tour of CA: the big bike race with those very cute, hard bodied guys (ok .... hope I'm not offending any males reading my blog... but HEY, it is MY blog).. and DAMN... those guys have thighs and muscles, and were very cute!! ....well you get the idea!! AND I didnt even see the race except out my kitchen window.. Sent husband to take pics and either the guys were going so fast or his camera settings were off cause most of the pics are blurry.

The race started in Sausalito and ended in Santa Rosa. They had some very interesting terrain to ride and ultimately climb.

My day's highlight as a result of the above fun event, was about 90 minutes of complete peace and solitude to CLEAN (ugh!) but I couldnt take it anymore. I think I may be just about to go stark raving mad in our tiny space with no place to put junk... 1.5 closets just doesnt cut it....I'm calling the contractor tomorrow. Even tho we have no moula and have no idea where it's coming from, I want to get a better estimate on what our garage conversion will cost and also what it's going to cost to put down new flooring and fix our damaged bath (in existing area), which we HAVE to do before the conversion...

Perhaps it will help me stop bitching and moaning so much about our little beach shack... yet, we truly DO love it (yeah, slap me!).... the weather is great, the view to die for.... very peaceful and mellow....

BUT Q for any of you who have remodelled.. I saw this in a "kids space" remodelling book, and loved it. They did 2 bedrooms side by side, with closets butting up against one another, and then an adjoining loft for the two kids above the closets... Anyone out there do the loft thing? Seems very intriguing to me! OK signing off, and praying for tons of PGN outs for everyone this next week!

Think this guy was supposed to be the front-runner favorite

Please say a BIG prayer for Baby James!


This little guy came home from Korea I think around 5/6 months ago. He's now almost 1 year old (bday in March) ...He's just a doll-baby and the family is incredible. Shortly after arriving, things didnt seem right and the Peds palpated a mass in his abdomen. He was diagnosed with Wilm's tumor - a peds cancer that is usually pretty workable - NOT that any cancer is ok or good, but usually with Wilms, it's isolated to one kidney and encapsulated so it doesnt spread. Well, James' cancer is the exception. Not only was it in both kidneys but it's a horribly stubborn, resistant strain and chemo doesnt seem to be touching it. He's already been thru one surgery whereby one kidney was fully removed as well as a chunk of the healthier. On Monday - tomorrow - he will again have surgery to try and de-bulk some of the remaining kidney of it's cancer. If you could say a prayer for this sweet boy and his family, I'd soooooo appreciate it. This little guy has spent a good majority of his time in America in hospitals, being poked and prodded. He still has great difficulty sleeping for any length of time, and this has taken a huge emotional and physical toll on everyone.

Here's the family's blog site:

http://jrjschrandt.blogspot.com/

On kind of a really neat note (once again, if anything in this arena can be "neat")....this family's story reached a Korean escort (many Korean babies are escorted to the US by Koreans travelling or folks who specifically fly to Korea to escort).. Anyway this young gentleman, and hopefully I have my story correct, returned to Korea and posted about Baby James on a popular online journal/news site. There's been an outpouring of love and support from Korea and all over for this baby boy!! BUT it never hurts to add even more prayers.... Thanks so much....

THAT DARN FOG!!!

Well for all of about 1/2 a day, we had incredible.. I mean INCREDIBLE beautiful sunshiny weather. So much so we did in fact break out the ol' slip and slide. Had all the windows open, ceiling fans on high... it was awesome. BUT then, as does happen often around here (altho not all that often this time of year).. the darn fog rolled in. We've got several different types of fog. You can get the real pouffy.... it comes in thick but blows out quickly type, or the very thick whipcream version. Unfortunately ours today has been more the latter. And now I hear it's supposed to rain tomorrow :( Sooooo nice to have Spring like weather today... So here are a few of the most modest pics of the kiddos on the ol' slip n slide when the sun was out and it was truly HOT!!......

Stuff off to Eastern and other Random Thoughts

For those of you not in the know re: Korean adoption, there are just 4 agencies in Korea that handle adoption: Holt (biggest), Eastern, SWS (Social Welfare Service... whom we've worked with for Alex, Ellie and Soo Hee) and KSS (Korea Social Service, the smallest and only working with a few US agencies).

So Peg with Children's Home sent our letter of intent off to woo Eastern and hopefully wow them. I continue to be very nervous as baby's special need (to me) seems minor and not sure they're gonna give us this waiver.. BUT maybe that's just my perception as baby was quite the preemie. SO NOW WE WAIT.....

Unfortunately it doesnt look like there's any kind of possibility that we'll have the waiver prior to my friend travelling to Eastern. One can hope tho! Even if we got it while she was there, something might be able to be arranged but I suspect there's no way she's going to be able to see baby.

I did hear from a good friend and sophisticated adoptive mom (has adopted several times from Korea and other countries), that our medicals probably will be ok (THANK YOU GOD!!) It literally took me 2 solid weeks (minus weekends) - yes, I mean 10 days, everyday to get Alex, Ellie and myself checked out, poked for TB and then return to have TB test checked etc.. I was holding my breath as Ellie hasnt had a TB test in a long time and she had gotten the BCG vaccination in Korea (yet one more little piece of poison in her system which may have thrown her over the edge) BUT thankfully she had a neg result and we didnt need to do the chest x-ray.

If all works, we'll sign acceptance (of referral) docs and then the countdown to homecoming will begin (approx 8-12 weeks post-referral, altho things of late seem to be around the 3 month mark). Baby is 5 days shy of 3 months now so we're looking at homecoming between 6 & 7 months I suspect if all works /we get waiver. In some weird way, it feels like Soo Hee sent us this little one... so many coincidences with dates, etc.. It feels so right, BUT I'm bracing myself. If it doesnt work, it doesnt work and I wont fall back into my deep dark depression.... I dont know if we'll resume our Guat adoption or not.....

We've been put on "hold" with our Guat agency and while I understand (it's in the contract) was somewhat disappointed we couldnt get any of our deposit back. If the Korean adoption works, we're most def. done. Our FTC CM made it sound like "we'll put this on hold and when you finish with Korea, you can then go forward with Guatemala".. Well never say never.. cause I never thought we'd be thinking a third child, BUT truly think we're done after this, not to mention - WE'RE BROKE!! No way unless we win the lottery would we be able to pull another 30K out of our hats after Korea, to pursue Guat. Sooo for now, that not so little deposit will at least allow me on the board so I can watch what's going on with friends - SOOOO praying they get their babies home soon ..... AND if everything falls apart with Korea, we have the option of returning (if all is well with the country program - much stuff continually going on with it and giving everyone in it major heartburn!) Can't in anyway fault the agency in anyway.... knew this going in and still feel they're a very good agency.

Off to enjoy this great day... I think we're gonna have another beautiful, warm day - maybe even slip n slide type weather later on!! I'll keep you all posted and thanks to all of you for your pos vibes/prayers, etc....

Light Bulb Moment in Target!

The reason we dont get a lot of dumb adoption related questions is because my son v0lunteers all..... much prior to anyone asking.... and if they dont want to know - TOUGH!!



Seriously I sometimes semi-joke that Alex did come with an instruction manual. He began talking /issuing orders at 8 months and hasnt stopped since.! We purchased some toys for baby today in hopes that we'll be able to send a package with our friend visiting in a few weeks if we've got the waiver by then. At the checkout, a young mom with a baby in her arms commented that one toy was just great... Alex proceeded to tell her and the check-out gal, that "we're having a baby.. but baby is in Korea and our family is thru adoption.... he went onto to tell all details of where he was born and when he came home.... and that we had one baby but she died, but now we have a new baby, and when new baby comes home he'll be helping to change diapers to help mom (awhhh!! Believe me I'm not feeding him this and actually telling him he probably wont get to do a lot of this initially due to attachment issues/concerns as the babies in Korea have soooo many changes initially.... Alex was moved 5x prior to us and came home at less than 5 months).. Anyway, I do feel very blessed to live in a multi-cultuaral area and not to have to deal with the dumb-ass questions on a regular basis. We usually get the "are they 'real' brother and sister?" to which my stock answer (unles I really think someone is trying to ask/inquire about adoption) is: "last time I looked they both had the same last name" and we stroll off.. Alex often nips the "stupid comments in the bud".. and yes it can kind of be embarrassing sometimes but I often feel some of these nosey individuals deserve it.. What's the old saying our mother's always taught us: "stupid questions get stupid answers".... or something like that. Well Alex will often say something to the effect right to the person's face if they continually question something that he perceives me getting frustrated about "mom, he/she's not very bright are they? they just dont get adoption...." at which point most usually laugh and we move on....Again, not language I'm attempting to cultivate and we work on it. Alex has impulsivity issues and has been hyper-verbal from day one. BUT I must admit there's a small part of me on occasion that actually secretly appreciates the fact that he speaks his mind and idiotic grown-ups who should know better, can hear my 6 year old say his peace about his heritage.. BUT today wasnt one of those days... it was simply his excitement sharing about new baby... Fun day.. I soooooo hope we hear about the wavier VERY soon... Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

Valentines Day Hell and other Fun things (just kidding :)

OK not really cause I sometimes hate these holidays from a school perspective.. for any of you on a restricted diet and/or with kids on restricted diets.... school functions and holidays add up to a TON of work for mom whether mom wants to/has time to or not. And while I love to cook/bake when I have time, I dont do a lot of it.. As a matter of fact we installed a new duel-fuel stove with gas burners in Sept and still dont have the gas-hook-up (long story and Soo Hee's death in there didnt help, altho I wish it meant I hadnt eaten a whole lot).... Dh is doing a lot of BBQ'ing. Anyway, Alex is off all week on ski week/winter break and we were going to make cookies today and we did.... for Ellie's class party tomorrow and for her Social Skills class after school where they'll decorate cookies. Well when I went to get the xantham gum (and for anyone on a gf/cf diet you'll know what this is... it's basically the "magic ingredient" that holds all together)... it was gone. When I took Ellie to a bday a few weeks back, dh went on a major cleaning spree - loved it, but sometimes he chucks stuff without thinking......I suspect this was one casualty. Any special event/party/school activity, I make something as a suitable alternative for the kids... also attempting to keep the school frig/freezer stocked with cupcakes for surprise parties..... But I get so tired of sending my kids to school with ugly looking treats...It's just not possible sometimes to do the "normal" stuff with baked goods on the gf/cf diet.... AND they're soooo good about it. Hopefully I'll have more time to work on this once our stove is up and running (thankfully the oven is electric and works)... Poor baby to be will not be getting a lot of casein and gluten and I find it interesting when I read adult Korean adoptee blogs... many of them comment on diet and one gal in particular who has since moved back to Korea, specifically has commented on how much better she feels now that "wheat and dairy are out of her diet"... I dont think my kids ' issues are cultural as much as global - that many things we eat, just arent good for us.....

I also can't say "no" to letting the kids help (altho I'm fairly anal about making them wash hands a million times)...Soooo today, we made really ugly looking chocolate heart cookies - thank goodness for Miss Robbens (allergy grocer.com) as I always try to keep a few of her pre-made mixes on hand just in case... today was one of those days!! Sooo in the pic, Alex decided to make a volcano before he rolled. He's actually quite the cook.. his fine motor skills have always been amazing to me... always seeming light years ahead of his time. He just loves it, and I love having him help but of course he always wants to be 10 steps ahead of me....

And the crowning blow of the day was the "notice of public hearing " I got in the mail indicating some yahoo wants to build a mansion 4 houses down and break the height variance by 10.5 feet. I mean who the hell needs an almost 6000 sq foot home? OMG... I would never want to even clean the thing, altho I suppose if you have that much space you've got staff..... I mean I know some folks have home businesses BUT if that monstrosoty is gonna block my view, my claws are gonna rear their ugly head... AND that means preparing for the hearing - Yes.. NEXT week!! Just what I need right now....While I'd fight no matter what, the insult in the injury here is that something like 60%-70% of our community is part-time... weekend folks.. or folks who have vacation rentals. I have NO patience with folks like this who want to come in and throw their money around and ruin the general landscape of the place (which consists of homes from 1500 - 2200 sq feet....we are all in a nice line, so that each home has their own view plus privacy).... ANYWAY I know there are places in the world where homes are much larger than here - believe me, most days I wish we had one - a tad over 2k sq feet, I'd be a happy camper... and after our remodel we'll have that....BUT that's just not the makeup of this community, and it will be such an eye-sore. We'll see... Maybe something to keep my mind off baby..... Hopefully HS and waiver request to Korea by end of week. Most I've spoken to say the woman asking for the waiver -well she's been doing this for a long time and she's very good at what she does AND usually gets her way!! Sooo think I better go do some more shopping....

Alex had to make a volcano with the cookie dough before rolling ( I swear his hands were VERY clean)

I'm sooooo trying not to spill the beans - should I?


I'm also soooo trying not to get excited but have already thought about what kind of quilt to make.. already have contacted someone who can see baby in about 2 weeks when she travels to our agency in Korea (and she's the perfect mom to hold this baby and tell me if we've got any concerns)... and yes even cruising ebay for more clothes (love ebay!)

There's one list I may spill the beans to, a list I've been on for almost 7 years - adopt-Korea-Christian... we're all old friends and some know everything cause they read this blog. I'm just starting to get terrified that I've let myself fall in love and that we wont get the waiver...I aplogize as this isnt a place I can "spill the beans" (more of anyway) esp since I'm not private.. but even with private status I'd be reluctant to give too many specifics. The list AKC (adopt-korea-Christian) doesnt know anything from the past many posts and this is what I'm considering "spilling" just for the support... Still thinking about it... On kind of a funny note, George and I were talking last night.. the kids went to sleep early and we were having a relaxing eve.. I went to microwave this little "snuggle " disc for the cat who sleeps in our garage on my cutting table.. but it's been so wet and cold-feeling (even tho it's nothing compared to the rest of the country)... well dh and I were talking and talking and I set the microwave for what I thought was 5 min to heat this thing (I wrap it in a towel and it provides about 8 hours of heat for Haley our outdoor kitty under her bed)... WELL multi-tasking and setting microwave functions didnt work last night.. SOOOO embarrassed but hey, we truly were needing a new microwave.. Yes you've prob guessed.. set micro for 15 min and thing melted. ... wax everywhere (ugh).... Soooo let me know your opinions.. Praying my gal at the agency here in the states doesnt have tomorrow off so our email of intent can go to Korea.. Take care everyone!

For those of you craving high quality baby products!! or very pretty, functional products for your sweet girls!! :)

I just wanted to plug an ebay seller whom I purchased soooo many bibs from way back when.. well I wont even tell you right now how long. Alex was always my incredible fine motor baby from day one. AND he was incredible with eating from the get-go.. just very precise.. Not that I cared or expected it. When Ellie came home crawling at 6 months I figured her concentration was def. gonna be on gross motor (I was WAY right :) Had not a care in the world on the fine motor front and here I had all these beautiful sweet, girly outfits for her. Bottom line, I almost resorted to feeding her naked or in the tub toward the end of baby hood.. yes.. the food flying everywhere.. it was tough. BUT we also knew she was truly struggling with a developmental disability.

ANYWAY, as we were going thru her dx, I became obsessed with material and wanted to do some slipcovers but also fell in love with chenille which this seller uses on her bibs. I was soooo impressed and pleased that she took a ton of time to advise me on machine buying.. how to buy the best chenille, etc.. Guess what I'm saying is that she cared more for her customer (and I felt like we' d become friends) than her sales... cause for all she knew I could have been some rip-off artist and trying to get her secrets for success.... BUT that's not me.. def not!! I could do a bib if I needed but when there's someone like Kris out there.. who needs to.. I wanted to post some pics of a few ... and well given my kids ages you can probably guess how old they are.. we still use them several times per week.. The toddler version is so awesome cause say you're at a wedding or somewhere nice where you truly have your child in a nice outfit, these are sooo complimentary AND huge so they absorb all the mess AND so high quality that they last even when you abuse them in your wash (me :)

I was so excited to get to order a bib for my SBP (I suspect it's at the PO today but given our heavy rains today, we stayed home.. so wont get til next week..... I feel badly that SBP is getting her stuff so late, but she'll get a big batch all at once).. ...AND Kris did a custom order for me.. THANK you Kris.. She's awesome...

I also got a lil blankie for SBP from Burp Itty Burp... yet another amazing customer service entity.. THANK you Megan.. you're awesome....

So age of used bibs shown on kids work table (apologize for very ROUGH looking table) ... bibs are 4.5 years old and while they're stained ...they've been on every vacation, fieldtrip, restaurant outing.. as well as every day/night dining (vacations were 2 Alaskan cruises.. one trip to Hawaii...... soooo complemented when there was actually a dress code at dinner... and these types of trips arent our MO, but just kind of happened a few years in a row for many reasons).... I'll take a pic of bib for SBP which will be new so you can see... but top two photos are of a big I've kind of held back for more formal occasions which of late havent been abundant.. so it's still very new looking outside wash wear.. Anyway, if you're someone who loves the vintage look as well as high quality in keeping your little one clean during meal time, I highly recommend this seller:

hartwelldesigns

just search by seller... I'm not related nor do I have any interest in seeing her sales be boosted except that I have an incredible respect for her. She took time from her very busy schedule to help me learn to sew (I now feel so lame for asking!) but also provided such great tips on how to buy chenille... She's the best. AND I"m sooooo holding my breath right now and praying that all works for us such that our adoption of this baby can go thru.. I'll def be buying some new bibs.. they're truly works of art!!

this is the bib that still looks fairly new even tho I've had it for 4 years and it's been worn /washed numerous times.. just not the everyday wear the others have had...

The back of bib

4 bibs... yes all about 4.5 years... yes they're stained and not terribly great looking BUT to me, still much better looking than the average (white background) bib you get at the store or the tacky plastic one with the cuff at bottom to catch food remnants :(

1 Down, 1 to-go!!! and more details..... WHOO HOO!!

I'm attempting to MAJORLY not get too excited but gee, can you tell? It's not working real well!!

IA doc (partner to Dr. Bledsoe, his name is Dr. Davies and I loved him as much as Dr. B) confirmed most of my suspicions. Baby was a preemie and we discussed all the preemie issues. But baby was a decent wt/not Super low birth wt. I'm not attempting to be coy or cute, it's just that til we officially receive this referral, there's a confidentiality issue.

Thanks to all of you who were guessing where baby was from - made me smile!!

Baby is Korean and I'm in love and praying our hearts dont get broken. Right about the time I'd sent the contract in to the Guatemalan agency, and began moaning about the dossier..... wonderful fellow blogger kinda said "maybe you really need to examine your heart" (or something to that effect, as I perhaps sounded like we were having reservations about Guatemala).. AND I think this person was right - THANK you! NOTHING about Guatemala, just that our hearts were first and foremost entwined with Korea from the day our children entered our lives and I suspect perhaps we werent quite ready to let go of the hope that we might still be able to adopt from Korea. Well about that time, Iwas talking to someone who does SN placements in Korea and she mentioned a file she thought we might want to review...So here we are...

At this point, we need an age waiver from the Korean based agency and given baby's special needs, the feeling is that there's a good chance it will happen, BUT it's NOT a done deal til we get it.... I'm so praying we get it within the next 10 days because someone I know - experienced mom... will be able to hold baby and just reassure us that all is well if agency will set up. OK, OK.... I'm tempted.... but know I shouldnt do this for fear of heart being tromped on, but tempted to start a quilt!

ANYWAY, thank you for all your prayers and good thoughts.. This feels SOOOO right. Please send us whatever you do: prayers, good thoughts, vibes, whatever... that this will work out and we'll get the waiver, and in a timely fashion. It does look like we may have to do our medicals again - ugh... Korea is tough - about 4 pages including all sorts of blood work (cholesterol, etc).. I've been LESS than nice to my body as I've drowned my sorrows these past months on massive bowls of pasta and cheese (my MAJOR weakness!)... not to mention that dh (I love you George!) is a big baby when it comes to getting poked.. AND I dont want to have to poke the kids again (TB testing and full physicals for them too)... AND then I'll have to tell our HS agency - who just got done changing our country from Korea to Guatemala... now back again (ok do we look like we're looney-tunes!??) I do in fact feel flakey but also feel that international adoption has a HUGE way of doing that to folks.. We did get our appt to get our CIS prints (which for Korea is no big deal as they can run concurrent to the I600 processing).. but will be glad to have that done finally....

Given all we may still have to do, mid May to early summer would be the most probable homecoming date... approx 8-12 weeks from Korea receiving acceptance paperwork (adoption is finalized 6 months after baby arrives home in US)...Thanks to all of you .. you're wonderful! I hope sooner than later we'll get good news and I'll post more info but will also be going private at that point. Take care everyone and have a great weekend... I know we're going to :) !!!!

OK a Few Hints!!

Cause frankly I'm not great at keeping secrets (ALTHO dont mistake that with keeping confidences - do that quite well actually :)

1. There is a baby
2. No Dossier required (that's not the driving force, but nice nonetheless.... )
3. Baby is 2 months old
4. Speaking with IA doc tomorrow (Fri) at 5:15 PM so if you could keep us in your thoughts as I really want this to work
5. One additional hurdle after tomorrow
6. If all works out, baby home probably in May - yay!!

Soooo appreciate everyone's support!

You know the old saying: "It's a woman's perogative to change her mind?"

Well stay tuned as I'm not letting the cat out of the bag - just yet!! :) .. BUT if you wouldnt mind... could use good thoughts, vibes, prayers.. whatever you can throw our way for the next many days, possibly weeks. I have not felt this peaceful about things in a long time but it's also something that can unravel at a moment's notice.... and again we wont know for awhile. It was funny as I dreamt about being out of PGN last night and experienced this incredible sense of peace.... like all the crap you put up with for a Guatemalan adoption is worth it because nothing is better than the day you get "out"... It was sooooo weird and again thought it was a sign.. BUT my in-box had very different messages and my day has gone in a VERY different direction so we shall see..... Thanks to you all... and hopefully good news soon!!

Thanks to a Fellow Blogger who Kicked me in the Ass!!

I appreciated it. Many of you know that we lost a baby.. It's never easy .. whether you lose a referral.. birthmom takes baby back, or in our instance baby dies... We moved on, yes we did! Everyone said we were so strong, yet l dont think anyone knows how much I cry daily for the little one who was my dd's sister and happened to look a lot like her... whom we lost.. Yes it's time we moved on.. My dd's strong.. she is and lends me that strength everyday - I LOVE YOU Ellie.. AND I know my dd Soo Hee would have done the same thing but unfortunately we'll never know this sweet girl because she's gone... My fellow blogger friend (and yes, you're a true friend - PLEASE know that I appreciate you're speaking your thoughts) implied that perhaps we werent ready to move forward. Believe me, there are moments I agree. Folks , PLEASE know this isnt a Guatemala vs. Korea game and 'NO" I'm not comparing one to the other, but the reality is that we were thrust back into the world of adoption because of a sibling call - one that never came into our world of reality, and now it's soooo hard to make choices.. Soo much so, I think my husband wants to hire a maid somedays as I cant seem to get much done. NO I'm not ready for Prozac.. not just yet (unless of course it brings those who have lost babies - their babies back.. always love those who are soooo wanting to throw pharmaceuticals at those going thru a natural loss/depression )... NOW.. if in one year, I'm singing the same tune, someone have me committed -ok?!! :)

ANYWAY, I realize that I've got an ongoing love of Korean children going on in my mind because that's where we've adopted from.. and I soooo hope I wont be ticking off all the wonderful folks we've met of late cause it's truly not a race vs. race issue (I'm SOOO not good at this and that's not where I'm going.. so I hope you'll understand).....Bottom line, said ass-kicking friend has gotten me to get Dossier crap in line so I know what is exactly needed and I'm ready - think I can get much done fairly soon. However, we also have some personal stuff like MIL's maiden name spelled incorrectly (which could take quite a bit of time to get another orig)..

In the meantime I'm reviewing a file of a little girl who is 10 months and is NOT getting enought therapy for her CP and royally pisses me off.. If she were her stats wouldnt be where they are.. BUT with Korea if therapy needs are too great the child can lose their foster placement. She's not had OT in 4 months and her fine motor has also not increased in that time frame which is a bunch of shit.. Fine motor never bugs me as Ellie is about one year behind... All relative.. yes it is.... and keep wondering if Soo Hee was leading us to someone else.. maybe.... maybe not.. BUT a BIG thanks to the person who was strong enough to kick and scream (not really :) but to help me sort out some very difficult and conflicted thoughts of late :) I DOOOO appreciate you and thank you!! Please Know that! We'll see... I suspect that Dossier will become High priority by tomorrow. Thanks fellow ass-kicker!

OK one last post for today!!

Yes I'm using the excuse that I havent got the room to store stuff and therefore unpackaged baby girl's little outfits and put them in the closet. Praying that's a good omen!! After hearing of some of the whacko things in PGN right now I continue to wonder if this is the right way to go.... AND just to elaborate after my previous post about the kids' stuff ... we live in an old beach shack and yes.. have all of 1.5 closets for all of us in the entire house (including linens/pantry - which is non-existent, etc).. that's it.. nada.. nothing more in the entire house.. My friends who live in studio apartments have better storage than we do.. Anyway things will be much better once we do our addition..... here are some clothing pics! Items from Hanna
Andersson where I only shop when there's a sale or it's a special occasion.. This special occasion was a sale combined with sending our app into Guat adoption agency. Ellie is so chemically sensitive that we often buy from places like this altho I usu. get off ebay used...I also wanted to get my SBP something... I'm excited for her to get as I suspect she doesnt even know she's got a SBP this time around (or perhaps does but dont know how many blogs she checks in on)!! I've got one of my all time fav ebay sellers working on a cozy/comfy chenille bib as the last little thing and can't wait til she sees :) !! OK so here's stuff.. HA always looks big cause you're supposed to wash.. I usu. buy big anyway, esp since I only use cloth diapers - yeah I know - hippy mama!! It's truly so easy and love it!!

Last outfit is for big Sis, Ellie.... Love this Retro stuff on her and since she's so chemically sensitive we try to buy when there's a sale, or get off ebay

Is it TRULY Winter???

Cause it feels like Spring or Summer to me!! Prior to children, I used to love to garden (still do).. BUT obviously not much time. Kind of funny as I'm so focused on PGN outs now, where you have a bit of time - more than many want....before baby comes home... And forget that we got our "Call" for Alex on Friday and were on a plane early Tues AM (and I still had to wrap up my job as I wasnt going back... it was a long weekend). So that Friday night, knowing I wouldnt have any other time, I was out mulching the garden at 10 PM!! I certainly dont do that anymore. AND no longer does my beautiful cottage garden look as cottagy, esp this time of year, yet I still love it. Due to some of the bio-med we're doing with the kids , we learned that Ellie is allergic to everything under the sun: gluten (specifically wheat but we've removed all gluten); milk (we've removed all casein); corn, soy, pear; apple even chicken and rice .. However the chicken and rice are at such low levels that we still use those as there's not much else. She's also highly chemically sensitive. Essentially we use no-pre-packaged foods unless they're from some organic type place and often I can make that packaged item a whole lot better than what's provided in the box (case in point, new version of dairy free, wheat free Mac and Cheese for lunch today - I almost tossed my cookies - GROSS!)

Sooooo we spend lots of time in the garden with the kids now and grow a whole lot of what we eat. We live in a mild climate by the ocean (so we sometimes get too much fog) but are still able to grow a number of things quite well: artichokes, lettuce, green beans, herbs... We recently purchased a few hundred dollar "pop-up" greenhouse - kind of like kids' pop-up tents and it's been great. Because we can get wind gusts up to 100 mph we havent ventured into the classier looking versions just yet - but def. drooling over a few. Anyway, we've been pleasantly surprised at what our silly little pop-up has helped us grow.. We now have zucchini re-started (which I think grows anywhere), all sorts of beans and peppers, various types of lettuce, lemons/limes (for marinade and tea); artichokes, brussel sprouts (dont tell my kids -but yuck.. I wont touch the stuff but sooo good for you, and would love if they 'd eat); asparagus; and today we were planing blueberry bushes as well as Rasberry vines (I guess these are the types that arent incredibly invasive)....The kids love helping and it's been great for them to learn. I can see if we go to homeschooling, many opportunities in the garden and greenhouse .. We also start a good number of our items from seeds (not today's plantings) but they love helping with that and seeing their seedlings pop up. We used to start them in our sunroom but now have a heated mat in our greenhouse and they start VERY quickly... Ellie eats the lettuce right off the plant.. loves it...!! Hopefully this years' garden will be as fantastic as last years!! Just have to hope the gophers dont suck down our rasberry bushes.... We can literally have a year where they get everything.. Many of you maybe too young to have seen the movie Caddyshack but that's how it is somedays. I remember a few years back being in the garden talking to a neighbor over the fence when I saw my lone artichoke plant (full of baby artichokes) shaking out of the corner of my eye.. NOT kidding.. It literally disappeared underground after a few minutes!! I was SOOO mad!! Now with one outdoor cat who adopted us and our garage (she refused to come inside, so she's been our outdoor kitty for about 9 years, living in/out of our garage) and many twirly, vibrating contraptions.... we do fairly well on the gopher/mole front!! Here some pics from today:

The silly pop-up greenhouse... we turn on heat lamps every night and for the first time ever this past summer got tomatoes (our summer like our winter is about 60 degrees.. but summers are often foggy and not much heat)...

Alex and Ellie watering!!

Alex hoeing... helpng to plant the new blueberry bush

Alex watering

Elle helping with the blueberry bush

Our new Rasberry Plants!!

Ellie is sick this weekend and asleep right now... Even after helping the garden and having a good time.. came in and had a nearly 102 temp.... she can go up/down quickly and easily..... not worried but just hoping she beats this quickly......I suspect she wont be going to school tomorrow and I wont be doing any dossier work either!

GOING PRIVATE in near future


Perhaps I've watched too many CIS shows of late, but suspect I'll be going private in the next few days.. I say "days'" which may translate to months - LOL!! Those of you whom I know follow -along I'll add you.. If you want me to add you , let me know.. My email is in my profile... just feeling like with how much I post about my kids and given my dd's special needs and the weirdos out there.... well you know! Hope you're all having a great weekend!

New things for this Friday!

Hey everyone..... well today Ellie rode her first horse in therapeutic horseback riding. I'm so dang proud of her I want to shout it out. Of late, she's declined so severely following the death of her sister (my fault.. as I stopped all her bio-med)... Essentially she's tanked.. Her sensory issues, language, ability to deal with life's little upsets.. MUCH different than they used to be. In someways I"m grateful for learning how great bio-med has been for her, but of course on the other hand, I'm sick to death that I let her tank this far. So today was a great day ... one of those Ellie inspirational days.... ones where I often cry cause I'm just so dang proud... She's been a professional therapy child since she was 15 months old so it's not odd for her to be left in the care of others (as long as I leave her) ... and of course I'm always just several feet away in case she needs me.. but she's very comfortable and trusting of those we meet and do therapy with. Last week she met folks... today she rode.. AND I'm just so proud..... and thrilled cause I know this is gonna be somthing that works for her (and doesnt cost an arm and a leg per month as most of this stuff aint covered by Blue Cross... anyone reading this from Blue Cross... please get a clue.. and cover it... it's cheap relatively speaking).. She had 4 women working with her.. 2 on either side of the horse and one leading the horse.. Amy directed the "therapeutic content" nad today they were very much still eval'ing her balance, etc.. I have no clue how this program even breaks even given that 4 women were working with Ellie today (I realize many are volunteers and some are college students looking for internships).. All I know is that I'm thrilled.

I did this little video thing.. Yeah.. the video music is prob weird to many... testament to my old age and love of weird music.. I love it cause it's motivating and speaks so closely to my thoughts about Ellie.. "I Know she can do it".... and the reason why shes so incredibly successful in life is because she "gets what she wants to give" ... That's my girl!! take care everyone!


Ellie rides

MORE Rambling Thoughts: Kids, adoption, etc...

Well on the adoption front, not to be a complete downer, but not much got done.. WELL I did email the "paper midwife" and hope she can redeem me somewhat in the weeks to come.. help pull me out of my slump.. JUST not wanting to do this.. no way, no how... Maybe if I hadnt just gotten paper ready for another country, I'd feel different. I must admit, yes.. I went surfing briefly today and looked at some waiting boys in Korea... We're completely paper ready for Korea. I LOVE the children but most would have some significant needs. There's this one little guy, check him out:


http://www.rainbowkids.com/ChildInfo.aspx?id=227

He's been waiting forever and there's a video link to him... he's got mild CP but from the video you can see how well he's doing...He's 19 months right now.... Just dont know that he's a good match for our family!!

And to completely contradict much I've said above, I rec'd an order from Hannah Andersson today...love that place! Had placed the order to get some stuff for SBP whom of course will remain nameless... altho dont think she frequents many of our websites. It was so fun shopping. AND while I was at it, I bought some cute baby girl stuff, which is truly where my heart is at.. no special needs.. at least knowingly. I know after looking at the little guy above, he'd be great with us BUT just not knowing that that's the way to go....I'm giving it much more thought and prayer. But nothing like a few cute HA "it's a day dress" and "PJ's" to really get you in the mood for baby.. I've kept the tags on and no pics .. just in case I return the frilly girl stuff for boy stuff..... I have a confession.. I've always been such a tomboy and I LOVE having a rough and tumble boy...but then came Ellie so beautiful and sweet and while she's physically very much a tomboy (have I ever shared her tree-climbing pics - I will below.. complete in dress and tights)..but she's just got this beautiful feminine demeanor. When we were going thru her dx stage long ago.. I went hog-wild crazy and started sewing and now WAY too much in our home is white and pale pink.. Rachel Ashwell would be proud!! Maybe even Cath Kidston.. But Pottery Barn would barf! I'm trying to change things slowly but surely.. It didnt help that my worst ebay purchase (NOT sellers fault - mine solely.. for white fabric for sofa slipcovers had poly in it and holds on to stains like you wouldnt believe.. so now I have to redo)....So we'll see... when we do our addition/garage conversion, I plan on having very clean lines... lovely floors and baseboards (like Crystals place - Crystal - swear I'm looking at your sweet Emma, but also drooling over your floors and baseboards.. OK i'm a sicko.. what can I say?!!) Crystals' house is gorgeous as is her whole family and her beautiful dd just got home !! The pics of her dd with her son are absolutely priceless.. what an incredible family! (see I"m truly looking at those pics!!)

OK onto other things.. Homeschooling.. anyone out there been there done that? I've gotten great feedback on so many fronts and I so appreciate it. The thing with us however is that we may not have a choice. Ellie may not be granted a transfer to Alex's school with her IEP in place. With baby in tow I cant be her personal asst. This school is great and is very accepting of parental involvement to help kids but I think if Ellie needs an asst it shouldnt be me.. and if it were me it means we cant adopt again. Local school is small.. You have to realize we live in the stix as I call it.. middle of nowhere.... 1 hour to town... Local school has 40/50 kids.. The K she'd be in if similar to this past Fall when I pulled Alex would be 30 kids, and a three, yes THREE grade mix of kids K-1-2.. OK mixed classes are not something I'm thrilled with and two grades is not great but dooable with a great teacher, aide and structure. Three grades... forget it.. Throw in a little ADD, APD, SID and several other abbreviated things and it's an environment that would be a joke for my dd.. and not one I'll subject her too... Not to mention the ST (because we're in the stix) gets her approx 2 hours a week. OK this is a MARIN county school district.. one of the most expensive places in the country to live and yet this ST can only get here 2x weekly... Yeah... I'd have my work cut out for me and the poor ST wouldnt be happy when she finally met me because if she hasnt read up in awhile, an IEP dictates what a student needs and yes, the school district, by law is obliagated to pay and provide.. BUT ya know I've BTDT and soooo burnt.. we've been doing this since she was 15 months. I know the law and her dx inside/out, BUT almost think it would be easier to do it than fight with the bozos at the school district...

With that said.. and gonna shut up here in a sec.. our current plan and folks working with her out of district are fantastic.. I"m continually amazed and astounded at how fortunate we've been to land with all these folks .. to think when she was 3, we almost moved just to get better services.. Things truly work out the way they're supposed to because I honestly feel she couldnt have done better anywhere else...

Again any thoughts on homeschooling appreciated... Nothing set in stone yet happy that somethings I'm reading telll me It may give us flexibility that may really work with our lifestyle and living in the stix... plus we may not have a choice...NOW for a few pics....

The kids' went to this AWESOME preschool.. we will forever be in debt to this place.. fantastic.. another one of the wonderful places we've come upon that just let "kids be kids" and truly honed in on my kids strengths and weaknesses and used them to help make them truly successful there.... I cried buckets when they graduated!